You have Everything You Need Inside You

Each of us has qualities that we can use to our advantage. If you are thinking that you don’t, stop, because you do. For those who have endured a difficult past and been cheated out of experiences that most others had, I can promise you that it has taught you some valuable lessons. As horrible as things may have been, if you are still here and reading this, you have things within you that give you an edge over those who may have been afforded the path of least resistance. Here are just a few.

You’ve developed the strength to endure and rise above your circumstances. You’ve likely had to pick up the pieces of a broken life, perhaps more than once, and find a way to keep going. Whatever you have been through did not destroy you. What that should tell you is that you can survive anything. Life is unpredictable. Trust that there is more disappointment to come but know that while it may discourage others, you’ve been here before – and you will make it to the other side.

Difficulty usually involves constant uncertainty. Having no stability or order in your life teaches you to adapt to changing circumstances, and quickly. Often, as soon as you’ve become acclimated to your new normal, it changes again. Eventually you get better and better at adjusting, and starting over becomes second nature. So while some have a hard time accepting and adapting to change, you’ve learned to thrive in this environment.

If you grew up poor or in unhealthy surroundings, you had to get pretty creative in order to make sure your needs were met and accomplish any goals that you may have set for yourself. You’ve had to make a way where there looked to not be one. That is an essential skill to possess, the ability to make the best of a less than ideal situation. You know how to get the most out of yourself and the means available to you. It’s making a dollar out of 15 cents. No one is more equipped to do that than you. Being resourceful is using what you have. So this is one thing that you should know with certainty that you are able to do.

Four Reasons Your Life Isn’t On Track

There are many things in life that are beyond our control, but there are just as many, if not more, over which we have ultimate power. If you feel as though your life is out of whack and you are not on the path that you envision, chances are that one of these four things is the reason:

1. You’re Undisciplined
Discipline is a crucial element in every single aspect of life. You have to be able to tell yourself “no,” and do things you may not necessarily want to do simply because you need to do them. If you can’t control your spending when trying to save money, effectively manage your time so that you get important work done, eat healthier and work out when trying to lose weight, or focus on your goals for more than five minutes, this is why. A lack of discipline is linked to so many bad habits. If you can’t control yourself you can’t control anything.

2. You Don’t Hold Yourself Accountable
The first step to changing anything is taking responsibility for doing so. Case and point, every single item on this list is centered on you. If you constantly blame others for the circumstances in your life you cannot possibly do anything about them. You may not be able to control the behavior of other people, but you do decide whether or not those people remain in your life. Instead of looking for someone to blame, look for ways that you can hold yourself accountable and take control of the situation.

3. You’re Stuck in the Past
Past hurts, missed opportunities, that person who broke your heart, the deal that didn’t go as planned – dwelling on past disappointments will cripple you. Thinking about things that have already happened will not change them. Live in the now. Focus on what you can do presently to impact your future. Forgive whomever you need to forgive in order to set yourself free, and then eyes straight ahead. The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come.

4. You Don’t Want it Badly Enough
Do you really want to win? Because if you do you’ll get to work on whichever of the aforementioned three things is holding you back. If you don’t you’ll read this, get defensive or maybe even inspired, but do nothing either way. Achievement requires action. Whatever “it” is, you have to want it badly enough to engage in active pursuit.

Don’t Let Yourself Down

There will be many people in your life who may not live up to your expectations, or even their own responsibilities. Maybe you had an absent or poor parent, a friend or spouse who betrayed you, business associates who took advantage of you, and people who didn’t believe in or support you when you needed them. Perhaps there are those whom you’ve disappointed. Regardless, understand and accept that you have no power over the behavior of others. The only person that you can control in this world is you – And of people you may have let down or been let down by, it’s most important to ensure that YOU don’t make the list.

ways to love yourself

Be there when you need you, above all others and against all odds. When you need to persevere, find the strength. When you need to accomplish a goal, find the motivation. Find a way, even if you start small and progress slowly. Put in the work and time to get where you want to go in life.

Being true to yourself is worth everything it may cost. Whether it’s relationships, family, friends, jobs or opportunities, none of it is more valuable than you. Decide who you want to be, work to become that person if you are not already, and then never compromise who you are. Be honest with yourself about what you want. It’s ok to change your mind but once you’ve figured it out, don’t let anything or anyone deter you from obtaining it. The responsibility you have to yourself is your greatest of all. You cannot effectively fulfill any other obligations when it is neglected.

Always follow your dreams, your heart and your conscience. You can heal from being failed by others. You can come back from that, even stronger than before. But when you let yourself down, you’ve severely damaged the only person who can pick up the pieces.

Top 5 Skills To Develop

There are some skills specific to an industry or profession. Then there are others that are useful wherever you go, universally applicable. These are soft skills, and they’re important to develop because doing so opens up endless possibilities for you.

Here are five you should focus on:

1. Communication
Being a good communicator will take you anywhere you’d like to go. The ability to effectively express yourself, your vision, and convey your intended message is key. Just as important as what you say is how you say it. Master the art of communication and you can talk your way into just about any room. Not to mention you’ll have healthier relationships, both personal and professional.

2. Negotiation
This is important when it comes to not taking “no” for an answer. It also helps when discussing pay, making purchases or deals. Learn how to give a little, take a little, and then meet somewhere in the middle.

3. Listening
Being a good listener is directly related to effective communication. Not only do you need to be understood, you must understand the other person’s point of view as well. You can’t do that if you simply wait to speak rather than actually pay attention and process what is being said.

4. Time Management
You will not be taken seriously if you constantly show up late to everything and worse, are unprepared. You can’t be the one who always slows down a project because you can’t meet deadlines. You also don’t want to deliver a poor performance because you didn’t have time to adequately complete the task. Learn how to prioritize, remove distractions and put yourself in a position to succeed.

5. Problem Solving
No matter where you go and what you are doing, there will always be problems that need to be solved. Develop your critical thinking skills so that you will be one of the few who actually brings solutions to the table, and not more problems.

Stop Wasting Time

Time, not money or other resources is your greatest commodity. It is the one thing that you can never get back, and that continues to lessen even when you are not actively doing anything. Yet, we waste it often on things that serve no purpose or even negatively impact our lives.

Time is your currency. Spend it wisely by avoiding these three biggest time-wasters:

1. Worrying
Worrying is not only a waste of time, but a waste of your thoughts. It has never solved a single problem. And often, we worry about things that are never even going to happen. We make ourselves sick over feared possibilities. At least wait and see if the situation actually comes to fruition.

Instead of worrying about the problem, focus on finding a solution. If there isn’t one, then force yourself to think about something else every time it comes to mind, or look for the positive aspects. Stressing over it won’t change anything.

2. Complaining
Like worrying, complaining does not solve anything. Starting to notice a theme here? If it isn’t productive then it is an ineffective use of your time and energy. The worst thing about complaining is that it often takes things to the next level and not only affects you, but makes everyone around you miserable as well.

We all need to vent from time to time, but if you find yourself always having something negative to say or griping about the same things over and over again, there is a problem. Change the situation, leave the situation or accept it – no sense complaining.

3. Comparing
It’s great to look to those who have achieved the things that you aspire to for guidance or motivation, but don’t compare yourself to them. Don’t compare what you have against what they have. Set your own standards to measure yourself against.

The futility of comparing ourselves to other people is that we allow what they have achieved to dictate our sense of accomplishment and self-worth, when our circumstances may be vastly different. Your path is your own. Use the success of others as a blueprint, not a roadmap.

How To Heal

Pain that is not physical in nature can be a tricky thing. It manifests itself in various ways and sometimes we may not even know that it is there. Subsequently, healing from this type of hurt is almost always easier said than done. How? This is the question. We often do not even know where to start.

If you get a cut, you put a Band-Aid on it and just wait for it to heal. Then one day you look up, and it has. If only it were this easy with our emotional wounds. We can cover them, we can bury them and give it time – and they still may not heal. We’ve only managed to ignore the scars that are just waiting to open up and bleed again at the slightest aggravation.

The healing process is unique to each of us, but one thing I know for sure is that you cannot heal anything that you refuse to face. So the first step is to accept what you have been through and acknowledge the impact that it has had on your life. It hurts to relive some memories, but you have to bask in that hurt for a little bit. Only then can you truly move past it.

Then, you have to forgive those who played a role in the hurt. Forgiveness is always more for you than the other person. Don’t feel as though you’re letting them off the hook at all. They have to live with what they have done either way. Although, so do you. So, forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be free.

If you’re struggling, read books about others who have overcome. Find out how they did it. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a therapist if nothing seems to be helping. If you still can’t find the answer, just use what you have. The key here is to not stop until you’ve figured it out. Be unwilling to carry your pain through life. It will eat you alive.

You’re mentally stronger than you know, if only you’d allow yourself the opportunity to prove it. Put in the time and work to heal, to be broken down so that you can get over whatever “it” is, and then rebuild yourself.